FREELANCING, WILL I FAIL OR SUCCEED

Doctors told me in 2012 to stop working, the government says otherwise. I tried to return to work in 2014 -2015, and I had a panic attack. You see, my first marriage was not so great. He physically, mentally, sexually, and emotionally abused me. I feared if I stayed any longer, my friends and family would be throwing flowers on my grave. Because of him, and myself for not getting away sooner, I now suffer from PTSD. I now have Chronic Pain (he kicked me in the left hip with steel toe boots) and Social Anxiety. That is not all; I have Chronic Depression, Excoriation, and Maladaptive Daydreaming. Yes, I know that is a lot of stuff. At least I tried to work but failed.

Ever since the pain in my hip started to increase, the less I could stand, bend, sit, and walk. I went from working a full-time job to having to find part-time work and failed at every one of them until 2012. Before returning to work in the fall of 2014, I tried my hand on opening an online metaphysical shop, Mystical Night. I would use drop ship companies like Azuregreen, to sell the products. Again, I failed.

At least, I tried to work in some form. The one thing I did was to write fan-fiction ideas in my journal. That led Bruce, my husband, and me to talk about school. Three degrees and ninety-nine percent of the fourth one later, I am writing and editing. Now, I am trying my hand, once more, in another business. Will I fail again?

I created my LLC back in September. The name of my company is Mystical Night Media. The plan is to do a few editing gigs while I write my books. I will publish my novels under that name. When I get a better understanding of publishing and contracts, I will open it up to anthologies. Plus, I will publish other authors. Will I fail at this?

Upwork’s 2019 press release finds freelance work is on the rise in America. Freelancers consider it as a long-term career choice. With more people from the Baby Boomers to Gen Z, working from home will cause a lot of competition for clients. Again, it will give clients plenty to choose from.

Many freelancers see freelancing giving them the flexibility they need. They get to work the hours they want. I wish I could say that. Yes, working any time I want is a benefit, but being unable to work outside the home, like I once did, freelancing is all I got. Will I fail working from home?

Being a freelancer will challenge me. With my social anxiety problems, it will force me to face people and to talk to them. I am used to hiding behind a computer screen or behind my husband. I am used to typing or having my husband do all the talking. Will I fail because of such mental problems?

With my last class for my MFA ending in January 2020, I will hit hard on getting my Hell’s Half Acre story out to the world. Plus, submit to anthologies and work on other novels. Will I fail at my stories?

Failing is part of life. In my adult life, whatever I did, I failed; well, not everything. My second marriage and school—those are the two things I have not failed. Will I fail at this new adventure? Only time will tell. At least I tried.

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